We recently had the chance to connect with El Tapia-Kwan and have shared our conversation below.
Hi El, thank you so much for joining us today. We’re thrilled to learn more about your journey, values and what you are currently working on. Let’s start with an ice breaker: What are you being called to do now, that you may have been afraid of before?
Branching out with initiative to make classes and workshops that aren’t under an institution or organization outside of myself, and only taking contracts within institutions and organizations that focus on providing art classes to groups that otherwise wouldn’t have access to creative programming.
Devoting my time and energy to creating more virtual and in-person creative offerings that consider access and ability in ways that I didn’t consider before! (Or that I did consider, but didn’t have the time or energy to commit to because of other events and classes that I felt obliged to attend or provide.)
Integrating my content creation background into my trademarked brand Uppercutt, to make material that can be shared and spread online about my process of thinking and making – what inspires me, enrages me, and drives me. I’ve missed making videos, and am excited to engage once again in a medium that serves such a valuable purpose of outreach!
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am a born, raised, and returned Floridian with a background in communal and academic visual arts. Having worked in mental health, social services, and art therapy informed practices, I bring all of my lived experiences into what I create. Being Queer, Trans, and Chicano growing up in an area of Florida that didn’t accept the first two of those identities, (and shamed for the third,) means that I make merch that isn’t easily recognizable to people outside of those identities who may be against who I am as a human being.
Over the past two years through my brand Uppercutt, I have shared and sold many items to many amazing humans all over Central Florida at markets and events. I have been able to meet and build friendships with others who share these same intersections of identity with myself, and receive multiple messages attesting to how my prints have brought people to tears, community events, and home to themselves in ways they never thought they would. The joy and recognition that crosses the faces of our customers when they see our work and recognize the subliminal coding as a sign of safety and solidarity has been something beyond beautiful to behold!
Most importantly, our designs and merch have become a flagging system for many Trans / Queer / People of Color who recognize each another wearing Uppercutt as fellow Floridians facing hatred with radical resistance and resilience. And that means the most to me, beyond a doubt. Hearing about friendships being formed and community being built solely on the basis of seeing someone wearing my patches, my shirts, my hats, my totes, my prints, warms my heart. To be able to provide a way for others to break the ice and form bonds in a state known to be isolating to those identities is something I don’t take lightly, or for granted. It is the greatest gift I could give and receive.
Originally this year, (2025,) I was going to be focusing on mediums I haven’t been able to work in for a while, (like glass, ceramics, and silversmithing/jewelry,) to integrate those creations into Uppercutt. Unfortunately my hands and wrists have instead had issues that are causing me to pause not only those mediums, but events and markets also. It is the cost of working so long and thoroughly with my body.
So instead I am pivoting to focusing on providing more virtual offerings in multiple mediums for folks who are interested in expressive and/or technical workshops! These workshops will be more accessible virtually, and allow me to work from home more than I have been able to the past two years. I am especially excited to continue to boost my favorite service, Creating with Care, through these offerings.
I am also learning how to make my upcoming and future in-person events and workshops accessible to folks who otherwise cannot attend events or spaces that do not take their disabilities into account. So stay tuned for upcoming events and classes here in Tampa as well!
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What’s a moment that really shaped how you see the world?
In first grade I had a friend who everybody bullied. She had less money, dressed differently, and would often curse or say upsetting things to the kids who bullied her. I defended her viciously, and held space for her to be imperfect, angry, and sad. One time during a game of tag, a boy touched her backside and refused to admit it to the teacher. The teacher sent my friend and this boy to the office, along with me as a witness. In the principals office, after they had both told their versions, the principal turned to me for my side of the events. I told her plainly with a firm face, “We were playing tag, and he touched her butt. And THAT’s the truth.”
I found out later on that this principal couldn’t help but tell my mom, who was a TA at my school at the time, about how stoic and seriously I had told them, “And THAT’s the Truth.” It became a running joke in my family that I would always tell it how it is no matter how uncomfortable it made others, because “THAT’s the Truth.”
I would continue defending the downbeaten throughout my years of elementary and middle school. Always befriending the underdogs, the honest, and the kind – and taking great joy in “evening the score” whenever it came time to stick up for them against others who had the upper hand socially. In middle school I would hit the bullies who hit others, like a food chain of justice through violence. (I learned later on that the main bully of this school went on to work for the 2016 administration, which makes all sense in retrospect for how he treated anyone with less money or stature than him.)
In high school, it all came to a head when there was a race war in my school between two hispanic groups at a predominantly white school. For once I thought, “why are we fighting against each other, when we should be joining together to fight the real reason why we are all sharing such scarce resources?” I was being pressured to fight someone who I had no issues with, while being viciously bullied by someone bigger than me from that same “rival” group. I was no longer defending someone with less status than myself – I was defending myself against a group that wanted more proximity to the power that the dominant group had at the school. It was a revelational moment.
I had always punched up at those with more power, in defense of those with less power than myself. I had only ever seen division as individual-to-individual, and not recognized the impact of being pinned to fight horizontally with others suffering the same slights as me. It was a lesson in solidarity, though I didn’t know that word at the time, and between the book ends of first grade to tenth grade, I accumulated layers of racial and social observation, reaction, trauma, and recognition that to this day I am still uncovering, digesting, and adjusting to as I move through the world.
When it comes to Uppercutt, I am able to channel that early, inherent nature of punching up at the powers that be, knowing that through my work I am able to grow and encourage that solidarity.
What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
Personally/Socially, my defining wounds have always been racial and sexual trauma. I call it my “CVS receipt” because I have experienced so many occasions of both, it’s hard to keep track. Being assaulted by people you love, people you hate, people you don’t know, people you thought you knew, (and even medical professionals,) can create a really difficult victim/villain binary in your head of how you see yourself and others. Since those wounds have been imbedded in me since I was an infant, I have never known life without that type of trauma. Which I honestly see as a strength, because in my older years when I was assaulted, I already knew what to expect of myself in my hurt and healing phases after something horrific would happen. What kind of care I would need, what difficult phases I would face, who I knew I could go to without the pressure to report or re-hash the details.
Sharing about my experiences online and in-person through content and conversations was important to me, as I’ve always been a storyteller. And being there for my clients when they reveal these wounds to me is a privilege, an honor. Each year I know the months that are the most activating to me, and without fail I have periods of higher CPTSD symptoms during those times. At this point in my life, I am not looking for a “fix” to my sexual trauma. I have made lots of peace with myself, had hard conversations with people who played a part in those traumas, and have people in my life who are willing to share that burden of emotional load with me, to make my journey a little lighter. And being trauma-informed myself from my own traumatic experiences only makes me that more able to ground and guide myself and others through those experiences.
Racial trauma is a never-ending wound that is re-lived basically every waking moment- and I no longer take it upon myself to be the one to have to heal it alone. I grew up around very high racial tensions and have been called everything in the book. And this has happened regardless of where I am! Within higher prestigious institutions, community centers, backwoods, inner city, you name it. Where there’s a place, there’s a power dynamic at play.
And, I also recognize that I have played my own part in reinforcing false stereotypes and beliefs, and not been the perfect ally for those more marginalized than myself. So I do hold a lot of grace for people who have perpetuated racial trauma and have never seen a different way to be, exist, communicate, and respect others. It’s part of why I talk about racial issues in plain english rather than highly academic language. I wouldn’t have learned how and why some of my own behavior was unacceptable had someone else not told me, or called me in with kindness. A lot of people have contributed to my growth in understanding social justice issues, and I know there is not a one-person solution to something as large as racial harm. It takes a collective to heal, and so being in collective spaces has been more healing than being isolated in my anger, my grief.
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
Intentionality, Transferable Skills, and Accessible Language.
Everything I do is intentional – and I love making meaning where it’s assumed there is none! When I get a tattoo, every part of it is imbued with symbolism. When I work on carving a block to print with, I make sure I have the right background music, movie, or company on. I think, re-think, and sit on ideas for long times until they make the most sense, and their timing is appropriate for my abilities. I used to let immediacy and urgency pull and push me around when it came to creating, and saw how counterproductive my work would turn out. So it’s a very spiritual practice for me to be as intentional as possible with everything I put out into the world. Because someone else will be picking up that object, that wearable, that energy, that message, that piece of myself. And I want it to be genuine.
I am actually laughing about transferable skills because I have a friend who jokes about how often transferable skills comes up in conversation with me! I’ve been instructing in various visual art mediums for a decade now, and I’ve found transferable skills to be the most important bridging part of any introduction to a class. Learning what people feel confident or at least competent in doing is a great way of gauging someones strengths, interests, and abilities! So I love to ask students what their favorite non-art-related creative aspect of their lives is. If it’s baking, now I know how to tell you how to wedge clay. If it’s parenting, now I know that you often have to delegate for others, and that you may need support in releasing the reigns in being led through a project. If it’s mathematics, I know I can tell you specific angles to put your hands in for throwing on the wheel. It also helps students start off on an empowered foot when embarking on a new hobby!
Accessible language has been something I’ve been passionate about since I started my Youtube channel back in 2017. The purpose of that long standing project was to share information about social justice, communications, mental health, and more through language that younger me living in rural/suburban Florida would understand. So I try my best not to assume that everyone knows certain words, regardless of the space I’m in. Because I know what it feels like to feel less intelligent from having less exposure to language that is commonplace for others. A friend once told another friend, “El speaks from a place of assuming not everyone shares the same context.” And I feel highly complimented by that!
Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
That I defended my loved ones to the grave, and left no stone unturned in finding the best way to use my talents to tell my story. That I tried every mode of expression possible and found joy and revelry in each one. That when my body broke I found new modes of movement, fresh ways to free myself. That when my spirit dimmed I rekindled the spirits of others by sharing about my darkness, and how I moved back into the light…
That I wasn’t afraid of the dark. That I embraced the ugly, the painful, the loss, and the grief. That I embraced those who were seen as disposable, despicable, and damned without batting an eye. That I still saw the beauty in their darkness in the same way I found beauty in mine. That my own pains, loss, and grief were never for nothing. That I turned each tunnel into a passage to a better life.
I hope I am remembered for always prioritizing those shunned by society, and giving my all with my gifts to give others a moment of peace amidst the chaos. That I buffered the systemic impacts on my students, and bucked up to the systems that tried to keep me small.
I hope they tell all the hilarious and heartfelt stories about my humor, and how I used it to disarm the dastardly. I hope I truly lived the full meaning of comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://uppercutt.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_uppercutt_/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elmarianotapiakwan/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/14uppercutts
- Other: https://eltapiakwan.com
