Today we’d like to introduce you to Paula Adams.
Hi Paula, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to introduce yourself.
I started my death doula as a child. I didn’t know it at the time. My grams and mom were both holistic medicine women; I was dubbed the death talker and walker. My grams showed me the beauty of death; my mom talked me through each stage. Most of it started with my animals dying on the farm. Later I would like my grams and my mom, all before I was 24. My daughter came next—two of my partners, my kid’s best friends, and my dad. I am the only matriarch left in my family. I’m 59, the oldest living woman of my legacy. I am not afraid of death or dying. I talk about this as much as I can. We are a fear-driven society when it comes to death and dying. I went to Estonia to meet a woman who trained me as a doula via Estonian style. This was in 2010. I belong to INELDA. I live in Florida, a horrible state to die in; It is mean and vicious.
When Covid hit this country, and we fucked that all up compared to China, I saw how horrible we treat our dying. We treat those who care for them even worse. We treat death like a plague, and what do we do with it? We ignore them. We ignore our dying. Shut them away somewhere to not be seen or heard. We make death ugly, painful, humiliating, gross, and my goodness, the cost to die in this country WTH.
OK enough. I am a professional death talker. I am booked to speak about death, and dying all in real-time with straight talk. I am a death walker. I feature death talks in my community. I talk about death in a positive and spiritual holistic way. I walk people who are dying down the road. I do legacy projects, Advocacy, vigils, and death Meditation workshops write and create dying art. I walk the family through their loved ones dying time. I explain what is happening on each level as it comes. I am a holistic healer.
You wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle-free, but so far would you say the journey has been smooth?
This country shuts down what it doesn’t want to hear. My biggest challenge is getting people to talk openly about death. To find ways to ease suffering, make the dying process more compassionate, and have way more options on leaving this time and space when we want or are ready to go. Why wait if you don’t want to? Each state has its laws. It’s tough to work with all different kinds of rules and laws. Southern states are the worst. Striving people and dying of thirst are considered compassionate. Suicide needs to go. That is an outdated mode of thinking. Dying should never be a sin, no matter how it happens.
Are there any lessons you’ve learned that you can share? We’re always looking for lessons that can be learned in any situation, including tragic ones like the Covid-19 crisis.
Oh yes. We are barbaric when it comes to death in this country. We were so unprepared that we ended up with mass graves and loved ones dying alone in the great country of the USA. We love to kill and let things die, including our people. Death is taboo, but by making dead people, we are good. We have to do better.
Contact Info:
- Website: Deathdoulapaula.godaddysites.com
- Instagram: @deathdoulapaula
- Facebook: Paulaadams2
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCRuBsmhpmvl7OpeO0iQxFmw
